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A Memory Christmas Tree

December 28, 2014 By Colleen 10 Comments

Memory Christmas TreeYes, I realize Christmas is over. And, yes, it was a tough holiday for me this year after losing both my mother and brother in the same year, only two years after my husband died.

Decorating wasn’t high on my list of priorities.

But I wasn’t going to let my emotions damper my 7 year old grandson’s holiday spirit, especially since this would be our first Christmas spent at my house since my husband passed away in 2012. I thought I’d put up the 7′ tree and surprise Santino with the 4′ tree to decorate any way he wanted.

However it was Santino who surprised me with an incredible idea – decorate a “Poppy” tree with photos of Marlon, my hubs and Tino’s Poppy.

I was beyond touched, and amazed that someone so young could have such a fabulous idea. I told him that we wouldn’t be able to make the decorations that particular weekend as I’d have to order the photos, but we’d make them on his next visit, the following weekend.
Memory Christmas TreeHe couldn’t wait though and had to hang just a few simple ball ornaments on the four foot tree.

I ordered every photo I have of Marlon in wallet size from Walgreen’s (not realizing they come in sheets of four!). When I opened the packet I was immediately struck with emotion. So I put them away and thought of ways I could quickly make ornaments that Santino could help with, knowing at age 7 he probably wouldn’t want to do all of them.

I headed to the dollar store, grabbed a few things but wound up using things that I had on hand – glitter paper and goodie boxes.

Glitter Memory Ornaments

Christmas Memory OrnamentsI finally garnered enough emotional strength to go thru all the photos and cut them apart.

And nearly choked as I realized I had over 100 pictures.

Christmas Memory OrnamentsWith simple manila folders, I started sketching ornament shapes, setting the wallet sized pic – 2 x 3″ – in the center of each shape to ensure they’d fit.

Christmas Memory OrnamentsAfter cutting out the templates, I simply traced them onto the glitter paper. Oh, I found some glitter foam at the dollar store that worked too.

Christmas Memory Ornaments

Then each photo was glued onto the ‘ornament’ and a hole punched for a hanger to go thru.

I had visions of making ribbon loops to hang them with . . . but that idea quickly went out the window when I saw the huge stack of ornaments I had made.

Side note: I originally tried Mod Podge to decoupage the photos but it didn’t work on the glitter. Simple craft glue worked fine and was much quicker.

I had also picked up some glittered Christmas stickers, thinking Santino would enjoy adding his own personal stamp to the ornaments.

 

Memory Ornaments from Treat Boxes

You know how us artists and crafters never throw anything out because we’re absolutely positive we’ll use them for something . . . some day. Right?

Christmas Memory OrnamentsI had these cute red treat boxes from a Martha Stewart project a while back. Turned out the circle was the perfect size for a frame for wallet size pics.

Another side note: I did buy a bunch of wallet size photo frames from the dollar store too but a) I couldn’t center the dang pics (no, I didn’t think to use glue or tape that was sitting right there on my worktable), and b) I also couldn’t figure out how to hang the frames from a branch. 

So um, yeah . . . when people say, “Oh, you’re SO creative!” they’ve don’t realize the many, many #craftfails that happen on a regular basis.

Anyway, I cut the box apart, saving the cello frame and one side of the box. Then I centered the pic and cut off the excess.

Christmas Memory OrnamentsI glued the photo into place first, then added glue all around the edges. And finally I got to make a ribbon loop hanger just by sticking each end into the glue. Then close the back flap, wipe any excess glue, and set the ornament under something heavy to weight it down until the glue dries fully.

Memory Tree Topper Star

Santino is still young enough that there is only one thing that goes on top of a tree – a star. I had some glittered stars that were large enough but they’re dimensional so I wouldn’t be able to add a photo.

Obsessive much? Why yes, yes I am.

Christmas Memory OrnamentsI found these stars at Walmart but they only had red, green and white. Harumph.

In between rain downpours, I ran outside sprayed the thing gold within an inch of it’s life and dumped half a bottle of cheapo glitter all over it.

Christmas Memory OrnamentsNot trusting a picture would stay on the star with the open weave of the star and the glitter, I grabbed some gold vinyl I have for my Silhouette cutter and cut something resembling a star shape.

Christmas Memory OrnamentsIt turned out great. Seriously. It makes my heart melt just looking at it.

The photo I used was Marlon’s last Christmas in 2011 when he had to hold Tino up to put the gold start on the tree.

And yet another side note: I wish I’d thought about stuffing the star with lights so it really glowed. Instead I just stuck it on the top of the tree. Boo. 

 

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Now . . . the ornaments were all ready for Santino’s visit the next week end. And I would love to say that we had a ton of Hallmark moments of crafting together and reminiscing over the photos of Poppy.

But that’s not what happened. Not.even.close.

Not only did Santino not want to decorate the ornaments, he didn’t even want to look at them!

I was lost. Dumbfounded. And hurt.

After all, it was HIS idea to have a Poppy Tree in the first place!

Then I remembered my reaction when I saw the photos when I picked them up from Walgreen’s. So I asked him, do the ornaments make you sad? To which I received a very not-nice scowl.

Huh.

I drove him down to his mother’s, pulled her aside and told her what happened. She was surprised too but said that his emotions run deep and wide.

If anyone should understand his reaction, it should be me. Or at least, understand that grief is bewildering and uncontrollable. I never know when or what will affect me, and I can’t imagine how hard it is for a 7 year old who’s entire world was wrapped up around his grandfather.

I do know he holds his emotions inside. Right or wrong, that’s what he does. We do talk about Poppy, mainly happy stories. Sometimes he wants to hear all about him, sometimes not. I try to go with the flow.

But this . . . this blindsided me.

What was I supposed to do with this huge box of ornaments now? Far too many for the little 4′ tree.

Part of me wanted to just throw them out, but I could/would never do that. I knew I had to decorate that dang tree because, no matter what his reaction was or would be, he would be expecting to see the Poppy Tree on Christmas.

So I did. First I added the glittered stickers to the ornaments along with a little extra glitter here and there. Then I started in on the tree, stuffing it with fabric as I always do, then a little more fabric.

 

Christmas Memory OrnamentsThe fabric and glittered netting worked wonderfully to frame and showcase the ornaments.

The star tree topper was perfect . . . even if it would’ve been better with a few lights inside of it.

Christmas Memory TreeI tucked some ornaments deeper inside and some on the outer branches, just like I do with regular ornaments.

It adds depth and makes one want to look at the tree longer, to see any hidden surprises.

Christmas Memory TreeI used the same ornaments as last year – copper and burgundy – but the Poppy ornaments took center stage. Or maybe it’s just me.

Nah. They really do stick out.

Christmas Memory Tree
Christmas Memory TreeI left some ball ornaments and Poppy ornaments aside, just in case Santino had a change of heart and wanted to add some himself.

But as timing worked out, he didn’t come to visit me until the day after Christmas.

Christmas Memory TreeAnd as any 7 year old would be, he was more interested in the presents than the tree.

He did look at one of the ornaments and said, “That’s my favorite one there.” I don’t even know which one and it doesn’t matter.

He had his Poppy Tree.

And so did I.

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Now . . . let me say this – if you’ve lost someone close and you’re still grieving, making a Memory Tree is not easy.

Oh, the ornaments are no big deal. In fact, I’ll start earlier next year and use either wood or ceramic shapes so they’ll be more durable and become keepsakes. The clear glass balls? Well, maybe you have more patience than I do, but those did NOT work out. At all.

But to have a tree lit up with photos of your loved one on nearly every branch? That stirs up a lot of emotion. Even more than you already have whirling from it simply being the holidays.

Still, I’m so grateful that Santino had the idea, even if he didn’t want . . . or couldn’t make himself . . . make the ornaments. Just the thought was enough.

The two previous Christmases without Marlon were so hard because I felt like he was missing out.

Not this year.

Not with our Poppy Tree.

What I am sure of is that everyone grieves differently, just as everyone loves differently. And the deeper the love, the deeper the hurt when you’ve lost that person. I don’t have any answers for anyone else. There are days I barely make it thru myself. But now I know that those days will pass and I’ll laugh and love again. And cry again too.

I hope your holiday was filled with peace and joy. I am so looking forward to this New Year, as I rebuild my life, my business, and my Self.

Hugs,

Colleen

about Colleen

Filed Under: Christmas, crafts, Dollar Store Crafts, holiday crafts, Holiday Decorating, Home Decor, My House, My Hubs, My Stuff

Comments

  1. Peaches says

    December 29, 2014 at 6:44 am

    Beautiful tree, beautiful story. I’m sorry Santino’s reaction didn’t time well with the celebration, but it was a great idea. I think celebrating lost loved ones through art is one of the kindest things we can do — for them, and for ourselves. A while back I made some simple stuffed birds sewn from a shirt that belonged to someone I loved who had passed — they are some of my most treasured ornaments and i was happy to share them with a few people who loved her very much.

    Reply
    • Colleen says

      December 29, 2014 at 6:51 am

      Oh, that’s a wonderful idea, Peaches! I have bags of Marlon’s clothes, not sure what to do with since I don’t sew too much anymore. I LOVE this!

      But also, I can relate a bit to Santino in that sometimes the idea is a lot more exciting than actually the doing of something. However, I honestly believe it was just too much for him. He did take two of the little dollar store frames, picked 2 photos and took those home.

      Thing is, I think we’ve started a tradition now – including Poppy – whether I like it or not. sigh. Oh well, that gives me 11 month to think about making ornaments from some of his shirts.

      Reply
  2. Carol D. says

    December 29, 2014 at 8:56 am

    This was the most beautiful story ever! I stumbled on your blog…and this is the perfect way to remember those who have past…but you are right, the timing will be different for everyone….not sure we could have handled it with my FIL’s pics this year but maybe next year. I would also like to add some of our pet pictures too! Thanks for sharing this beautiful story and blessing so many with your idea.

    Reply
  3. Mel Swope says

    December 29, 2014 at 9:14 am

    Your tree is beautiful and I hope your new year is filled with peace and prosperity my dear…You are a beautiful and talented soul and thanks for sharing…Have you come across a company that you could send a bunch of Marlons shirts too and they will make you a nice throw or blanket? I know a woman that did it and said it was very reasonable…Just a thought…Hope to see you in the New Year…

    Reply
  4. Kara says

    December 29, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    What a beautiful idea! I lost my brother 4 years ago and Christmas is always tough for us. It is the ornament with his picture that is always at the front of the tree!

    Reply
  5. GloPalMass says

    December 29, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    The Poppy Tree turned out beautiful, Ms. Colleen. And even though Santino didn’t actually decorate the tree, the thought came from his little heart. And he will have this memory always. (He's growing up to be a pretty handsome kid!)

    Reply
  6. Kris says

    December 29, 2014 at 10:24 pm

    Oh, what a beautiful Poppy tree! After the year you’ve had, I don’t know whether I could have garnered the energy to do much decorating at all! You have great strength, Colleen, and though Santino threw you rather a curve, he was just keeping it real like kids do. The memories are important to him and he’ll cherish those. You are doing great. Just take the time to grieve your way, when and wherever the feelings envelope you. We all handle things our own way in our own time. Peace in the New Year, my dear! Hugs!

    Reply
  7. brenda says

    December 30, 2014 at 2:00 am

    just beautiful and inspiring.

    Reply
  8. Centsational Girl says

    February 19, 2015 at 7:40 pm

    You are such a treasure Colleen, this is the perfect tree. I love to read about what you’re up to. You are in my heart and prayers, I know things have been so rough for you in the past few years, but you will continue to be such a LIGHT to others in the world.
    Bless you my friend,
    xo
    Kate

    Reply
    • Colleen says

      February 20, 2015 at 8:02 am

      Oh Kate! What a sweet surprise, hearing from you. I know how very busy you are so it means all the more.

      Thank you so much for stopping by. You’re an inspiration to me and so many. xoxo

      Reply

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    About Me

    Hi there! I'm Colleen, a self-taught artist, writer and blogger, among other things. You don't get to be old enough to order off the Denny's senior menu without accomplishing a few things in life. Read More…

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